this is the first day of my life

What a week...

2009-10-07T22:11:52Z

So My birthday was amazing. Day before, my boss bought me a cake that said "Happy Birthday Brat" on it lol. Later that night 12 of my friends and I went out to Ichiban for dinner and it was so much fun and delicious! They sang happy birthday to me in Japanese and it was so cute! Some of us went out and had a good time at the bars afterword. On the day of, Russ and I spent the whole day together. First we went to Stella's for breakfast and that was fun because I LOVE their french toast. Then he took me to the mall and gave me my present. He bought me new speakers for my car and a new deck so I can listen to my Ipod in my car now. It was awesome. I brought my car there to get it installed and Russ and I went apple picking for the rest of the day. I love him and I've never had a nicer birthday.

Then a twist of events...

So the day after I woke up sicker than shit! I went to work Monday sick and Tuesday. After having a rough day at work on Tuesday (yesterday), I got into a terrible car accident. I was on West Genessee making a left hand turn onto Rt 5. I had a green arrow and I was the second car in the lane making the turn. I never saw the lady run through two intersections before running this red light, hitting my car head on. My car was spun more than 360 degrees in the intersection. The air bags deployed and broke my nose. When the car stopped I realized I was still screaming and that the airbags left a thick white powder in the air. I freaked out and ran out of the car to the side of the road. I also realized my nose was gushing and my knee was in pain. Some thing cut my knee in the car and it was sore. The old woman who ran the red light was not getting out of the car and complained about pain. It turns out she didn't have a scratch on her and she was actually on Lortab, which is a serious pain medication which can impair your judgment on reality including her ability to drive. She shouldn't have been driving in the first place. She was like 65. Fuck.

I took an ambulance to Upstate hospital and got X-rays. I'm ok. I might have a torn ligament in my knee and my nose is straight so I didn't need it to get set. Today I woke up feeling sore everywhere and I've been on the phone all morning talking to my insurance agency. I had to take today off and now I see why. Everything hurts. Uggg. I can't wait to see how things unfold.

hello I've waited here for you... everlong

2009-09-23T19:15:44Z

So I just got a new hairdresser and I love her. My hair looks cute like this. :]
Going to open house for Empire today. EEEEE!

doctor blind just prescribe the red one

2009-09-19T15:51:10Z

So I went to the casino and lost 40 dollars. All and all I'm pretty sure I always lose but I'm always someone's good luck charm. Ashley played all night. She lost, she won, and she ended in the positive by .10 cents. Haha. Today I'm going to the zoo with my mans. I can't wait to take pictures. Don't have much to update. I'm just trying to document good times in my journal and not always the bad times. <3

To see you when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real

2009-09-17T02:21:06Z

A little over two weeks until my birthday. I'll be 24 years old. I'm actually content with my age. For a while I was really dreading it. I've come to realize that I'm actually in a decent place in my life. No, I'm not married and don't have kids. But I don't want those things for a while. Getting engaged would be sweet but that's obvious haha. I reeeeeally don't want children until I'm like 30. Hahaha! I have a job that pays more than my bills, friends that care about me, a man that loves me more than life itself, an apartment that looks the way I like, and more importantly I'm content with myself because I can honestly say that I've tried.

My job is going well. Panera is a fun place to work. I can't wait until December when I get my week of vacation. I get another week in May. I met my best friend there. Her name is Ashley and she's the caterer. I've met a lot of other awesome people there too. There really isn't anyone I don't get along with there. Being a manager here is sooo much different than at Bruegger's. I do a lot more paperwork and make sure others are doing the job correctly. At Bruegger's I felt like another worker. There weren't enough people to actually have a manager. So anyway, I've been playing the "yes man" game and it's working out for me. I used to feel depressed/bored because I didn't have anything to do outside of work for a while. I've had plans pretty much constantly since I started saying yes to people more often. I'm working on my social anxiety and it's getting better for sure. I'm a lot happier. Seriously. I get out of work at 11pm on Friday and Ashley, Brittany, Russ and I are heading to the casino for a night of shenanigans. I have a lot to look forward to.

Russ and I are doing amazingly. I love this guy more than anything in the world. We are for each other. We have our ups and downs but at the end of the day I will always love him and he me.

Tonight I feel great. I'm listening to some great music and I just finished some decorating for the autumn season. Anyone who knows me, knows I get so excited for autumn festivities. I got Bella and Murmur little costumes so I can horrify them and take their pictures haha. I'm going apple picking next weekend with some family and friends. I will take tons of pictures. Speaking of taking pictures, soon it will be the perfect time of the season to take graveyard pictures. WEEE! I feel so free during autumn. I don't know why I feel a sense of relief.

Oh! Minus the Bear is playing in Syracuse on November 17th. Anyone care to join? <3

Finally... it's happend to me. Right in front of my face. And I just can not hiiiide it...

2009-09-15T02:14:49Z

So I have an appointment at SUNY Empire next Wednesday. I'm either continuing college in November if I can get my financial shit together in time or in January. I'm so freaking excited. I'm so ready for it. FINALLY!

Le sighhhhhhhh

2009-09-04T03:45:12Z

I would become a lesbian for Emily Haines. hahaha <3

So it's September now...

2009-09-01T15:08:31Z

So camping this year was fun and I look forward to next year. It was such a beautiful time. Russ and I went hiking a few times, cooked over the fire, read ghost stories, and took long drives in the middle of nowhere where we found an orchard with amazing fruit and took cute pictures at the beach. God I love him. I'm fairly certain we'll be together for the rest of our lives. Last week he asked me what I will wear at our wedding. Like what kind of dress and the style etc. How stinking cute! :) I think I want to get married in Hawaii and have a few close friends and family come. I don't care about getting married in some huge ugly old church. I want to get married on the beach and have a vacation with my lover right there. Le sigh... hahaha I'm such a dork.

Ashley's birthday was yesterday and I took her out the weekend before for some drinks with some of the ladies. When I got to work on Monday, I brought orange Gerber daisies, a huge embarrassing ice cream cake, and then had Jay sang over the mic and announce it was her birthday. How embarrassing! People sang and clapped while she sat on her break. hahaha. I'm glad I met her. She's such a great person and I hope I made her birthday better in some way. Today I'm getting my oil changed and going to the fair with Ash, Brit, Sam, and Julia. I'm so glad I've met some amazing friends recently. I felt alone for a little while mostly because Alisha and I pretty much never talk anymore and I didn't really know anyone in Baldwinsville. I used to feel like if I didn't invite myself to come hang out with people it would never happen. I think things have flip-flopped and I'm happy. I still miss Alisha but I think she's happy anyway and that's all I could hope for.

My Sallie Mae loan is more than 3/4 paid off. I can't believe it's becoming Autumn already! Fuck yeah! :D

convo

2009-08-12T06:00:33Z

me - "raspberries make me poop"
brittany - "hey! everybody poops emma..."
me - "I've always wanted that book."

summmmmah tiiiime!

2009-08-03T04:39:29Z

Life has been good lately. I've met some new amazing people and I've been so much more social. I love my job and the people I work with. Money has been tight, what with going out a lot and paying off my furniture, saving for our vacation and will have one of my school loans paid off by december of this year. I'm so proud of myself. Things couldn't be better. :)

<3

2009-07-21T01:13:43Z

Russ and I are seriously considering a cruise to the Bahamas this March for our anniversary. <3

Kelly watch the staaaaaaaars...

2009-07-17T15:57:37Z

So the other day I was walking through the swinging door at work and I jammed my finger on it. No big deal right? Wrong. At first I thought, "Oh shit, I broke it?". But then I look and it's bleeding. A lot. So I go directly to the bathroom to look at it. I look under my finger nail and it's not connected to my finger! It's barely on by the cuticle and base of the nail. So about 80% of my nail is off of my finger. Fucking great. So now I call the doctor and they tell me that my nail will fall off and MOST LIKELY grow back! Are you fucking serious!? How disgusting. :( This weird shit always happens to me. lol You would have thought it would have hurt more considering how the idea of that makes my skin crawl. It wasn't that bad. haha.
So I'm getting brilliant blue contacts as soon as I get my insurance cards in the mail. I'm stoked. Freshlook finally made vibrant contacts for people with astigmatisms. YAY! My eyes are already blue but I feel like they used to look so much more blue before. This will be fun anyway and I'm sick of my glasses. Everyone and their mother has black framed glasses. TRENNNNNDYYYYYY.
On another note. I just got a few days off for camping this year approved! Hooray. I'm also going to Bouckville this year again for the antique festival with my mom. I hope I find some fun things to accessorize the apartment. Although I think it's looking pretty awesome so far. I love decorating. :)
I'm waiting for my hair to grow long again. I really miss my hair. It's about an inch past shoulder length or so now. I had fun while it was short but I think it's most flattering on me when it's longer. I honestly contemplated getting extensions but I wouldn't want to ruin my hair. Le sigh. How do the celebrities do it? haha.
On an accomplishing note, I will have my Sally Mae loan paid off by December of this year. Go me! I've been paying the extra so I can be done with it. I still have Direct Loans to figure out but I can def manage that. I'm making more money now but instead of living it up I've been paying the bills. When December comes I will finally have extra money to play with. Not that I live THAT tightly now though. I'm almost 24 with no kids and my boyfriend and I both have jobs and no mortgage.

picture post

2009-07-13T14:17:31Z

The rest of the ride is riding on you...

2009-06-19T13:48:31Z

Started going to the gym yesterday. YAY! Really getting into getting in shape. I'm feeling better about myself already. I got this weekend off because with the new store opening I won't have weekends off for a while. Met the other two Assistants Managers. They are awesome! Bobby is a big guy, really funny, seems to like me. :) Jason is really funny, looks like Abercrombie material but I think it's a facade. :-P I did a few interviews with them and it got me pumped to start. I also met my GM last week and he seems pretty cool. Somewhat hard to read but that's because he doesn't talk much. I'll figure him out soon enough. My training officially ends this Tuesday and then I start at the new store on the 27th. I was getting nervous but I'm feeling more confident now that I know the other managers.

Mom is coming up this weekend and I'm decorating the apartment and making lasagna with her. yum yum. :] Mom has been looking for someone to go on dates with on a dating website. I'm happy she's at least open to THAT! I just don't ever want to see her be lonely. Leah got a job working full time and apparently started seeing someone. Haha life seems to be looking up for everyone.

Leash, I finally started reading the tenth circle. It seems promising so far! Thanks for the recommend. :]

Happy birthday Russ

2009-06-13T15:04:51Z

Russell,

It's such an overwhelming feeling to be this much in love. You've been my rock and my everything. You've been there for me through thick and thin. You constantly shower me with unconditional love and you always understand my shortcomings without criticism. Through my worst and my best. I know that I don't need to try to impress you. I can just be myself and I know you love me for me. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I know that I would be completely lost without you. I'm dangerously in love you and I'm so incredibly excited to be spending the rest of my life with you. I know we will babe. I will never stop loving you. Happy birthday my love.

Forever yours,

Emma

Happy

2009-06-09T20:02:59Z

I just found out what cafe I'm going to after my training is over. I thought I was going to go to the Cicero cafe. I wasn't really excited about it because it's a smaller cafe and they get less management. I don't want to HAVE to run a tight shift. It also means there would be more of the workload put on me. No big deal though. I'm used to it.

ANYWAY!

Out of the other 4 MITs, they picked me to go to the new cafe in Camilus. It's being built now as I write. Everything is going to be brand spankin' new and clean! I'm fucking stoked! It's a big deal to have been picked over everyone else. It means they think I can handle it and that's awesome. It's only a 20 min drive to work which is no change from here for the most part. I'm so excited!

On another note, our apartment looks hot! I will post pics soon! I'm in love with it. One last thing. I just bought this lumbar back massager thing from Brookstone and spent too much money but I'm so excited to use it!

foxiiloxii @ 2009-06-02T20:00:00

2009-06-03T00:26:23Z

Tonight, Russ is going to Joe's to play WoW since we won't have internet for about a week. I have wireless so I'm stealing someone elses internet haha. It's nice to be alone right now. I fucking love my new apartment. We have most of our new furniture and everything looks awesome. I'm not very unpacked but we're managing haha. I'm surprised how much bigger our apartment is now. It's a lot noisier of a place but I'm ok with that. Bella and Murmur LOVE it here. They're being so lovie dovie. :) I love my new job. It's not half as stressful as my old one. I've learned so much so far. I met some of the other MITs (Managers In Training) yesterday. Most of them are really friendly and genuinely happy people to be around. I think I'm the youngest one but I think that's pretty awesome that I'm doing as well as I am at my age with out a college degree. Money is much better but school loans are kicking in again soon. Blah blah blah. I can't wait to start going back to school. :) I have to work the taste of Syracuse on Saturday (4-midnight) but I'm actually somewhat excited. It's supposed to be really nice out and I think it will be a fun experience. On a random note, I think if I ever have a problem with my car (knock on wood) I'm going to trade it in and lease something hot. I love my car but it would be nice to have something sexy hahaha. Something else random, this year Russ and I are talking about going on a vacation together. I'm so excited. Probably in the spring. Not sure where yet. Maybe California or Florida. I honestly don't care as long as we leave NY. Last random statement, I have been vegetarian for about two months. Go me. :)

LOLcat yodeling

2009-05-19T12:57:38Z

Bella would make a fine specimen.

no news isn't bad news

2009-05-13T01:18:09Z

So far I have a week at my new job under my belt. I had to work 3 nights for baking evaluation. At Panera they do the baking at night so people like me will pretty much never have to during the day. I may have to spot bake a few things but that won't happen very often. ANYWAY it was rough! I had to work 10pm until 6am. I'm so glad I never have to do that again haha. I'll be training for about 7 more weeks. It's nice to have the time to really get to know everything I'll need to know. Rather than, when I worked at Brueggz, they just sort of threw me into it and I learned as I went. They would be angry when there was something I was never taught. I hate you Brueggz lol.

My cousin Christopher and Lizzie found me on facebook. I'm so happy to get in touch with more of my family from my dad's side. I used to hang out with Chris like every weekend when I was a little girl. It makes me feel bad that I don't see that side of my family anymore. I miss my Gramma. Lizzie says none of the family gets together since Grampa passed away. That was ten years ago! I don't care to see my dad but I really do want to see Gramma. Le sigh. I'm such a procrastinator. I'm anxious about the uncomfortable. I'm so anxious about so many things.

Russ is my favorite person in the world. I've fallen more and more for him when I didn't think I could fall anymore. He is definitely my puzzle piece and other half. I'm sure we'll be together forever. I don't care if that sounds immature and corny. It's how I truly feel. And I'm just so happy we have each other. <3

So tomorrow...

2009-05-04T04:16:11Z

Tomorrow is two full weeks that I've been unemployed. It sucks so bad. I have baked and cooked everything. I've cleaned the house and done all the chores. I've been taking vitamins, drinking the right amount of milk and water, and even sleeping for eight hours every night. I don't even feel healthier. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO! I'M SO F***ING BORED! Luckily I start my new job on Wednesday! Orientation ew! I only have 5 hours of that but get paid for a full day haha (salary bitchhhhhhhhhhh) it'll be noon to 5ish. I know that sounds stupid but I had to make sure I worked every minute of my fifty hours at Bruegz.

We move back to Liverpool in a little over two weeks. I'm so excited about the move. I'm going to live about a mile from Leah so I can help her out much easier. We're upgrading to a nicer apartment, a balcony, and a second bedroom. This apartment will have central air. Before I got fired we were talking about upgrading our furniture. So once I start getting a paycheck again we're planning on going in on halfs on a brand new coffee table and side table, which are black and modern looking. Russ is buying a 52" flat tv and we're going in on halfs for the entertainment stand, which is also black. I'm buying a really nice kitchen table and chairs. The table and chairs are at the height that make your feet dangle. I love it so much! We love our couches but hate the color of them so we're thinking slip covers. I used to have 2k saved for this stuff and I was ready to buy the new furniture when I was fired. So now I paid Russ for all of the bills (including the new deposit and rent for the new apartment) and paid my car payment and insurance until July and I have about 400 left in the bank. It makes me sad but I landed on my feet with a higher paying job. The money should replenish itself in no time. le sigh.

Got an application in the mail to fill out for Empire. I'm going.

3rd update today....

2009-04-30T21:30:24Z

I got back from my meeting with Panera and...

THEY OFFERED ME 10K MORE A YEAR THAN WHAT I WAS MAKING!

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

OH AND!

2009-04-30T15:53:13Z

Oh! And I was also thinking that THIS company will pay some for you to go back to school. I'm thinking of just going to college for business. I don't think I can work and go to school for Cos. There's not enough hours in the day. So I planned on going back to school to get my bachelors anyway (I planned on doing that after Cos). I think now's a good a time as any. I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS FOREVER! I could see myself being a business analyst. I read the job description and it's the type of job that you don't get bored doing. HMMMMMMMMMMMM! Such a fickle little girl... I have to pick something. I will know what it is I want to do before I turn 24!

oh shit son

2009-04-30T15:45:46Z

So yesterday afternoon Charlie from Panera called me and offered me the position of Assistant Manager. He said we'll sit down today and talk about my salary and do the last step which is the background check. SO I'M PRETTY SURE I GOT THE JOB! But we just need to make sure my background check is clean... which I'm pretty sure all the stupid shit I did when I was a kid was dismissed and not on my permanent record. It was ACDed. And that means if you're good for six months it's like you never did it. I've learned a lot from making those mistakes and I'm not ashamed of anything. *crosses fingers*

ANYWAY. I was making about 26,000 a year at my old job. I'm going to ask for 28,500 from this one. This job is salary and not hourly but I did figure it out that I was making about 10.25 hourly at the old one. So this would be like asking for 11.00 an hour. I don't think that's unheard of. But we'll see. I suppose I ought to get ready. I have to wear long sleeves because I'm not talking about the tattoo until I absolutely have to. LOL. God I'm a piece of work. Wish me luck. :]

Panera's second interview...

2009-04-27T16:03:31Z

Interview went fucking amazing. I think they loved me so as long as someone better than me doesn't come along, I should be in sturdy shape. It's a salaried position about 45-50 hrs a week. Benefits! They have about 3 assistant managers per store. So that means a lot less responsibilities. Hopefully a pay increase but I didn't ask. Either way it's better than being unemployed. I'll know by the end of the week. :)

lost my way...

2009-04-23T04:43:05Z

this too shall pass.

here's me tonight. i forgot to update when i got my braces off.

oh. happy earth day. give a hoot. don't pollute.

Byebye Bagels

2009-04-21T15:45:01Z

So last week Sheryl said some shit to me about something she was trying to blame on me again and I told her off finally. I thought about telling her to suck a fart out of my ass and quitting. This morning I go in to work and I get fired for applying to other jobs. Apparently I was sabotaging the moral of the other workings and advertising it. LOL. That's obviously not a legitimate reason to fire someone. I mean for God's sake I've never done anything wrong there. Never even been written up or warned! I'm happy. I never have to wake up that early again. So I applied for unemployment as soon as I got home and I have another interview at Panera on Monday. I applied at a few more jobs online too. I might not get the job so I'm definitely still looking. I really want to be done with food. Although, I've heard the pay is great at Panera. Pray for me. I have enough money in the bank to pay for my bills for the next two months. I'm seething with anger because I wish I would have quit. It's almost embarrassing that I was fired for something so silly. I applied at other jobs because Sheryl is a psychopath. They fire me? This is assistant manager number 5 in the last 2 years for her. Yeah. She's a real winner. Fuck them. haha. I still have eight more lives.